Client story: how we won in multiple offers
A short story with a problem, a plan and a result, the kind of proof that makes buyers call you. About 1 minute to read aloud.
Hook
[Number] offers on one house, and my buyers got it. Here's how.
The problem
Get your clients' OK before sharing their story. Leave out names unless they agree.
My clients had lost [number] houses already. This one had [number] offers by day two.
The plan
We [what you did: called the listing agent to ask what mattered most to the seller, offered a flexible closing date, got a full underwriting approval].
The seller needed [what they needed], so we [how you gave it to them].
The result
They got the keys on [date]. Not the highest offer, but the best one.
Call to action
If you're tired of losing out, message me. Every offer is different, and a plan beats a bigger number more often than you'd think.
I'm [your name] with [brokerage].
Timing and structure
This script is about 110 words to say aloud: roughly 0:41 at a fast pace, 0:47 at an average pace and 0:55 if you take it slowly, in 5 parts.
| Part | Words as written | About |
|---|---|---|
| Hook | 12 | 0:05 |
| The problem | 15 | 0:06 |
| The plan | 40 | 0:17 |
| The result | 14 | 0:06 |
| Call to action | 29 | 0:12 |
Record it in one take, or part by part with By section so you can redo one part without the rest.
Fill these in before you read
- [Number]
- [what they needed]
- [how you gave it to them]
- [date]
- [your name]
- [brokerage]
Use real names, numbers and examples: specific details are what make a script sound like you rather than a template.
Delivery notes in this script
These appear on the prompter as reminders, and are never read aloud:
- Get your clients' OK before sharing their story. Leave out names unless they agree.
Before you read it
- Lead with the price, the place or the result in the first two seconds.
- Show your name and brokerage on screen or say them: many states require the brokerage in ads.
- Describe homes and places, never who a neighborhood is “for”: fair housing rules apply to video too.
- Say where market figures come from (your MLS or board) and the month.
How to use this script
- Open it with the button above. It loads straight into the prompter, on any phone, tablet or computer.
- Replace every [bracket] with your own words. Notes in grey are for you and are never read.
- Read it aloud once, cut anything you wouldn't say, and set the speed so it ends on time.
Questions
How long does this script take to read?
About 0:47 at an average speaking pace of 140 words a minute. It's 110 words, so between 0:41 and 0:55 depending on how fast you speak.
Can I change the script?
Yes. It's free to use and change for personal or commercial use. Replace the 6 bracketed blanks with your own details, then cut or reword anything you wouldn't say.